Category: Communication

Making the tough decision

Stop sign by lgbsneakOne of my wedding clients just canceled their wedding that is only 3 weeks away.  At first, this seems pretty bad — think of all the guests, reservations, bookings, and money that has been spent planning this wedding — worse yet, what will people think of them!

It turns out that during the planning of this wedding they realized that they had to deal with some issues — some really tough issues (and not just details of planning the wedding).  They could have just glossed over those issues and carried on with the wedding (putting on a façade for all of their friends and family), but what would have happened 2 months after the wedding?  Would these issues resurface in a bigger and uglier form?  Would they end up in divorce?  Worse yet, what would have happened if they glossed over those issues until after they had children?

This couple made a very tough decision, and it is the right decision.  They needed more time to work things out before they make a life-long commitment to each other and to God. They were able to face up to the fact that they needed more time, and I applaud them for that.  If more people had the courage to do what they did, we would see a much lower divorce rate and much stronger families.

This couple is still dating, and while they have no plans of marriage at this time, I would wager that if the time comes, they will be more ready than the average couple and I hope to be a part of that very special day.

(photograph by lgbsneak)

Sale Sale Sale!

When does a sale stop being a sale?

There is this store near where I live that sells skis and snow-sports stuff in the winter and patio furniture in the summer.  I can’t remember a time when I’ve driven by their store and not seen a large banner in the window proclaiming that they were having a sale.  I stopped in once to look at the patio furniture and sure enough, everything was marked down.  But have they ever sold any of those items for the full price?  Even their sale prices seemed a little high to me.

To me, a sale stops being a sale when the sale price is the regular price and the sign out front that says Sale Sale Sale is merely a ploy to get people in the door.

I have an opinion

Yes, I have an opinion. Does that mean I’m right and you’re wrong? No. What it does mean is that we have a starting point for a conversation.

I have been told before that I am opinionated and oftentimes in a way that makes it sound like a four letter word. What I would like to clarify is that having an opinion is not the same as having an answer. Answers are either correct or incorrect while opinions are based on your beliefs and experiences.

If I were to say to you that it’s my opinion that tulips are the best flower, yet you thought that daisies were, then we would be able to have a discussion about flowers and what characteristics of flowers make for great flowers. This conversation would be friendly and constructive because it’s not about proving who’s opinion is right or wrong, but rather about explaining the rationale behind your opinions.

There is no question “What is the best flower?” because that’s not really a question. Best for what? for whom? We can’t treat it as a question with a single answer because the question isn’t even a qualified question.

I enjoy conversations where I can discuss topics with somebody who doesn’t share my exact point of view. They open my eyes to other possibilites, to other opinions and beliefs. I’d like to hear your opinion and have a discussion about what’s driving your opinion because maybe you’ll teach me something that I don’t know or give me reason to modify my opinions. If anything, we’ll have had a great conversation and know just a little bit more about each other.